So, if you’re human… and I’m assuming you are, you probably cause your own suffering and may not even have a clue that you’re doing it. Why? Because our natural tendency is to search for meaning and blame outside of ourselves. Sound familiar? If only you boss wasn’t a douche. If only your kids could get their shit together. If only your partner would man up.
Here’s the REAL truth:
You know that thing that you think is causing your suffering? Yeah. You know what I’m talking about. Guess what? YOU may actually be making it 10 times worse and even manifesting it [gasp].
So, I’ve compiled a handful of ways to examine your role in your own life. Ways that you can seriously check your own ass before you wreck yourself beyond recognition. Believe it or not, my friend, you are waaaaay more powerful in creating what you want than you could even possibly believe.
Check your judgment. When you are the middle of a shit storm or just feeling kinda yucky about your current situation, it’s super easy to start voting on anyone and everything around you. When you’re having a tough time with your body image, it’s easy size up your bestie’s thighs. When shit is hitting the fan in your relationship, it’s easy to vote on your neighbor’s marriage. Your judgement of other speaks VOLUMES about where you are in your own journey. So, watch yourself. If you find yourself sizing someone else up and immediately creating a story around it, what is it actually saying about you?
Your judgement of other speaks VOLUMES about where you are in your own journey.
Check what YOU have created as TRUTH. This is another area that can side swipe you without even noticing. I have seen many people create a truth about the current situation they are in and not even realize they have the ability to create their own truth. I will usually refer to this as a collapse of two unrelated things. For instance, you may say, “If I end this relationship, then I’m a failure.” Or “If I quite this project, then I’m letting people down.” “If I can’t pay my bills, then fill-in-blank.” It usually looks like “If THIS happens, then THAT must be true.” What if the first thing could just be true? What if you just quit the project? End of story. What if you just ended the relationship? Done. What if you didn’t have to make it mean anything? Guess what? You don’t.
Check your victimhood at the door. Pretty simple, here, dude. You can be a victim of your circumstance or a survivor. And it is completely in your hands. If you lock into the “Why me? Why me? Why me?” game, you will be stuck there forever. And it never gets better. And like attracts like. And you get more evidence to lock you into victimhood. Decide on a new truth. Look for different evidence. Look for blessings. Look for winnings. Look for love. For fucks sake, stop being attached to your own suffering. You are in deliberate creation and asking for more of whatever you attach to. Whatever you allow to rule your emotions and thoughts. You have control over that. This is YOUR life. Don’t let it just happen to you. Create it.
This is YOUR life. Don’t let it just happen to you. Create it.
Check out what IS NOT your responsibility. Much of the burden we bear during rough times, is feeling solely responsible for other people’s response to us. We’re attached to what they think of us. We’re attached to them feeling a specific way about us or our circumstance. So, here’s the deal: be attached. That’s fine. Of course we will always want something from others. I will always want my husband to speak to me and respond to me in a certain way, whether he comes through or not. I’m attached. But here’s the problem: Many people spend all their time, effort, and actions around trying to force a situation to be different. It’s not your responsibility. Your responsibility is ONLY to show up as the best possible version of yourself that you can. Handle yourself with grace, honor, integrity… all of the things that will make you proud of you. If your family, boss, spouse, whoever makes you wrong for it, IT IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to change their minds. How they feel is ON THEM. Keep your nose clean. Allow yourself to be invested in the people you are close to. Be attached. But have a clear, fucking understanding of what is your responsibility and what isn’t.
Check your energetic frequency. This one ties closely to #3 and #4. You will attract who you are being. What you are radiating. The energy you are emitting. NOT what you want. So, if you’re having a shitty-ass attitude and at the same time saying that you want a new, amazing fulfilling relationship, you will only attract more shitty-ass things. It’s literally science. It doesn’t matter what you want. It matters what you FEEL. How you feel is YOUR responsibility. No one else can control how you feel. We only think they can. We simply give them the power to do so. It’s actually your choice. So, if you were to picture an aura around you and we could actually describe with words what that aura was saying, what would it be? What descriptive words would describe your energy? What are you putting out there? Guess what? That’s exactly what you are attracting. Right. Now.
So, take some time to have a little heart to heart with yourself. Where can you play a bigger game? Where can you stand in self-care instead of judgment? How can you create new truths for yourself? Own what is really your responsibility? Choose surviving/thriving over victimhood? How can you be more mindful and intentional about your own energetic force?
Get on it.
Because there are few things as tragic as really, truly wrecking yourself.____________________________________________________________
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